A person with a victim mentality feels they have been wronged by others. They often have poor mental health and are unable to maintain healthy relationships. Victims are often stuck in codependent relationships and have difficulty processing conflict or sustaining healthy boundaries (Kaufman, 2020). They may blame others for their problems and have trouble taking responsibility for their choices. They may even be prone to self-pity and feelings of entitlement, but also tend toward narcissism.
When someone is in a victim mentality, it is likely that they will not be willing to make changes to their behaviors or attitudes, even when those changes are needed for safety and well-being. They can be extremely difficult to work with because they are unwilling to take responsibility for their own actions. They have a low tolerance for criticism and will not admit to any mistakes. They can be very angry, especially when they feel threatened or abused. They can also be narcissistic, as they may use their victim status to gain sympathy and attention.
One of the major issues surrounding victim mentality is the question of whether or not it is appropriate to continue using the word victim to describe victims of sexual violence. Some participants believe that removing the word victim would devalue the severity of sexual assault and sexual coercion. Statistically, women, 2SLGBTQ+ people, and people of color are over-represented in sexual assault statistics. Therefore, it is important that we recognize the experience of these victims as a serious crime.